Remaining the persons that we were 

Tonight it is myself, pizza, coke, Greys Anatomy catch up and most importantly the baby monitor. Zieyaad has gone out for the evening to watch one of his favourite artists perform live, Jason Miraz. I am home with Princess Porschie to continue with the routine we have set for sleep training. We are currently in the third stage of sleep training, which is the most difficult stage. I don’t want to comment on it yet, as we are still working on it. I will update you when I know whether the method we have tried is successful or not. 

I am so happy that Zieyaad was able to go to the show. As much I would have loved for him to stay home with me, I think it’s very important that, even though we are now parents, we still get to do the things we love. When we fell pregnant, we decided to always try our utmost best to support each other in remaining the persons we were before we became parents. 

But sooooooo much easier said than done! Before she arrived, I imagined my summer to be filled with lovely days in the sun with a baby on my arms. I had plans of being able to swim in the pool while my baby slept soundly in the crib for a predetermined number of hours. We were supposed to have picnics under the trees with a little princess dressed in a pretty summer dress and a sun hat, much like you see on all the perfect pics you find on the internet and in the media. But alas, that did not happen. Summer is almost over and I have yet to experience one of those days. 

But sitting here now, alone, with a moment to reflect back, I am so happy that I did not have that summer I imagined because I was able to spend every moment of the last three months with my creator, my husband and my family. My faith strengthened, my love deepened and I found purpose to my life. What seemed to have been the worst three months of my life, has now turned out to be the best. 

It may take us a very long time to be ourselves again. And even though our lives will never be the same again, I look forward to the future. I look forward to spending every moment with my new family and to building a new life together, but most importantly, while remaining that we always were. 

So here’s to many more moments like these, where I am alone with Ammaarah, while Dada gets to do the things that he loves. (And likewise with me, I cannot wait until Ammaarah is comfortable with the bottle so that I can go for a very relaxing and well deserved spa day!)

my night – pizza, coke, tv and the baby monitor

Ammaarah at 3 months

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