A little bit of everything…

It has been a while since I last blogged about motherhood, and it almost feels as though I need to start all over again.

Problem is, where do I start?

Well, perhaps I should start with why I suddenly stopped, or rather why I took a little break. It really wasn’t the case of stopping or even taking a break. It’s simple, life became busy and blogging was unfortunately last on my priority list.

My maternity leave ended and I returned to a full time job – my baby was 4 months old at the the time. I started working half day, but this soon turned into full time. It took me all of three months to adjust to being a working mother. It was NOT an easy task!

Going back to work after being on maternity leave is not easy. It is a MASSIVE adjustment. It felt like starting work for the very first time. And I suppose that to some extent, a part of that is true. Because you are now returning to work as a mother, a working mother.

I remember when Ammaarah was 6 months old, I came home (after I just started working full time again) and told Zieyaad that we unfortunately were going to have to make another plan, because I was not able to continue working. The rush of every day was too much to handle. It was one of those difficult conversations that we needed to have, but the best part of that difficult conversation was discovering that I have THE most supportive husband! His immediate response was ‘Okay Porsche, you make the call and we will make it work’! I was really taken aback by his undoubted support, and his confidence in the fact that our life would be absolutely fine no matter which path we chose (whereas I was fretting about the what if’s and the how’s!).

His unselfish support helped me to continue trying, pushing through every day in the attempt of trying to find a different norm. Part of my motivation was seeing so many other working mothers be successful at it, and because of that, I am still going. My little girl is 9 months old now, and we are still going. Every day comes with its own challenges, but every day becomes evidently easier than the previous one.

Ammaarah at 9 months

Ammaarah at 9 months

9 months, shall I repeat that? 9 months! How did we get here so quickly? Clapping hands, waving tata, saying words like ‘dada’ and ‘mama’ and ‘baba’ and ‘ta’, fully understanding what the word ‘ta’ means and not forgetting about being able to blow her nose. Oh yes, and giving kisses when we come close enough! The development of a baby is quite extraordinary…so many things in so little time!

Sleep training was a great success! (And I promise to post about how we did it). Ammaarah is asleep by 8:30pm (every evening), sleeping through the night (almost every evening) and sometimes waking me up when I accidentally pushed the cancel button as opposed to snooze. This characteristic of her love for sleep comes from me, I have to admit, because I LOVE my sleep! We have been blessed, truly blessed I believe, because I have been lucky enough to have a little girl that sleeps through the night. (Touch wood though, because teething is yet to begin – I hear that this stage is no fun!)

Crawling? Well almost. She absolutely hates being on her tummy. We try to have some tummy time often, but after a few seconds she rolls over onto her back. Then I roll her back onto her tummy, and she rolls herself back onto her back. And then it becomes a game until she becomes frustrated from having to roll back all the time. And that is when the tears start to roll! She pushes herself away now, trying to go somewhere, or reach for something. But the moment I put her down, she just sits on her bum.

I fall more and more in love with my baby girl each and every day. I am convinced my hormones are still adjusting (9 months later), because some days I feel as though I never truly loved her up until that moment, because the love I feel at that moment is mind blowing! Absolutely unexplainable. How is it possible for my heart to keep exploding with bursts of fuzziness?

Having a baby changes all the dynamics. This is also something people hardly speak about. Life is different, marriage is different, relationships with friends are different, everything is different. Reality has officially kicked in. We are no longer two and will (God-willingly) never be two again. Bitter sweet! I can still remember life before her, sometimes I crave a moment of our previous life. And sometimes I cannot believe that I had to wait 28 years to meet her. There are constant ups and downs, and my faith in the Almighty helps me to grow with every down and enjoy every up. My family is my life, and that is only and solely because the Almighty!

my family

my family

Treatmesweetlie Handmade Braided Pacifier Clips has also taken up so much of my time. A lot of time went into the preparation for the exhibition at the Baba Indaba. My learning from that experience, and more importantly growing from that experience, was priceless! I am looking forward to planning the next exhibition and taking the next step with this little venture of mine. (Watch this space!).

2015 Baba Indaba

2015 Baba Indaba

So in a nutshell (well almost), life is busy! Life with a baby, is BUSY! And at this point in my motherhood, it’s all about ticking the boxes, enjoying every day with my little girl, and then of course, finding the time to  fit in some blogging in between….

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